Had my first dress fitting yesterday. I like how it fits, but it should still be let out a little bit along my natural waistline, so that it doesn't bunch up. I asked the alterations lady to not do anything to the dress yet. I would rather go in two weeks from now after some heavy exercising and dieting and hope that it will be even better. I really have to have some control over what I eat. No playing around. Just 4 weeks until the day. Today I worked on biceps, triceps and shoulders, then I did insanity, well part of insanity. I was pooped and did not finish. I'm gonna try to do insanity 2x a day. No weight lifting, just cardio. I can lift in the last two weeks prior to the wedding. I just need to lose fat right now. :/ I weighed 192.5 this morning. I hope to be down to 180 by my next fitting. That is 1 lb a day. I think it can be done.

The list

So after a few disappointments in relationship, I have gathered some common themes among the men I have been in short and long relationships with, as well as my behavior in these relationships. This comes after a friend telling me I "need to pick better men". I believe it is true! I should value myself enough to be conscious of what I want in another person, as well as be aware of who I am and how I behave in a relationship. This is an ongoing list and I'm not going to use it as a checklist, I'm not crazy, just a set of suggestions to keep in mind. No real order here.

This list came about after being with H., who seemed like a perfect catch. And after "dating" C. for a bit I have added a few more things to the list, as well as confirmed others that I had made an exception for C...never again! So here it is:


--A man must have friends of his own. This is an indicator of his social skills as well as loyalties to people he cares for (non-family).
--A man must live on his own or with roommates, just not at home with family. This is an indicator of his independence as well as individual financial stability.
--I will not introduce the person I'm dating to ANY family until it is serious. That includes my brother and my niece.
--I will not bring along a person I'm dating to outings with friends until we've both had time to get to know each other well.
--A man must not be emotionally unavailable. FIRM on this one! (recently confirmed)
--A man must be college educated. This is not me being a snob of any sort; the degree can be from Westwood College or Harvard for all I care. It is the pursuit of higher education that I am interested in. It says a lot about the person's dedication and motivation. (note: i know college isn't for everyone, but this was recently confirmed)
--I will not let my "guard" down completely until I know the other person is not just wasting my time. Not to say that I won't open up to someone, just that I will be more cautious since this is what makes me closer to someone and hurt later
--I will not settle for what appears to be a good guy. His actions must match his words.
--A man must have some sort of humanitarian side. I'm tired of guys always telling me that I have a good heart for helping people. I want to be able to say the same thing to someone else. It's a quality that I would like to share.
--NEW: A man I DATE must not be divorced or have any children. I used to be open minded about this, but unfortunately, it's just not something I'm willing to put myself though again.
--I will not pursue a guy. I will let him pursue me. It's not old-fashioned, it's self-preservation and it's time I start to utilize this one.

There are three other ones that I won't disclose, but those closest to me know what those are.

Manu Chao

So I didn't get into Iowa. I realized that it wasn't going to happen mid-week and I felt so relieved. I didn't like being in limbo; I wanted to have a firm grasp on my future and I finally have it. I now have classes to take in September and the MCAT to study for.

Since I was in LA for Rocio's birthday, a bunch of us schemed together a plan to kidnap her and take her to Tijuana, BCS, Mexico to see Manu Chao perform on Sunday, the 24th! It was amazing, despite the injuries that she and others incured...at their own faults I have to add!
Emmanuel hurt his back and she now has a cut on her head and a really really nasty left knee!

Chio's Pseudo Bday

Since I'm not sure what will happen this week with Iowa I decided to plan Rocio's bday festivities one week in advance, as her bday falls on this upcoming Sat. A few of us got together and had dinner at The San Antonio Winery and Restaurant. Pretty nice place, good food...great wine! I created a gift basket for Chio with 5 different wines and other goodies and surprised her at the end of dinner. A few people came back to our apt for more wine drinking! OF COURSE a game of Taboo ensued! Freakin game went on for about 4 hours! Check the havoc below...I was fierce with that buzzer!

Disappointment

I can't help but become disappointment by certain people. I try to not have expectations; I try to be open minded and understanding, but sometimes I just feel like me doing that is just making excuses for people! I mean, I expect courtesy from people...all people...isn't that normal? Maybe I should just not care about people anymore? It's easier said than done of course. I guess I should try to not expect courtesy from someone...or is that me settling for something less than what I want? Hmmm...I can be over doing the situation, but still the issue gets right down to the basics! Well for now I will relax and try to not let such a simple disregard affect me. Hmmm...

In limbo

I'm still waitlisted at Iowa and while at the beginning of the month I thought an admissions offer was not probable, the circumstances have changed. In one week the list moved 13 spots! RIDICULOUS! If one spot opens up, if one student decides to go elsewhere I could potentially be in! It's exciting, but it's scary. It's coming down to the wire and I'm so nervous. At first I was anxious about not getting in and now I'm anxious about actually starting in one week! My time to adjust will be limited to overnight :/ I was fine up until talking to Daniela. I hadn't updated her in 3 weeks because she has been studying for the LSAT, and so the news of me potentially moving to Iowa by next Thursday came as a shock to her. I freaked out when I heard her reaction. She has been one of my closest friends since I first moved to LA and our connection is so deep that all my anxieties just came out at the sound of her voice! After our conversation I started to cry :/ to get all my thoughts out before they consumed me...it's a good thing Rocio woke up when she did to hear me out.

I mean, my life could potentially change DRAMATICALLY in 6 days! And by dramatically I mean, I could be in a different city and state, completely different from LA or SD. ..Iowa City, Iowa, population 60,000 of which 30,000 comprise U of Iowa! The whole situation is incredibly exciting, but like I said, scary. I need to stay positive and remain focused. I can't focus on the details, such as what clothes will I take, should I buy shampoo here or over there...The details will kill me if my thoughts linger...everything will work out in the end, whether I go or I stay.

reaction

Today is the first day of class for UCLA and Drew. I don't really feel anything significant today; it's a regular day. I suppose its a good thing that I don't feel sad or mad...I feel normal. The date almost snuck up on me to be honest.

I've been so set on playing with my camera and focusing on my personal health that i just forgot what the 4th signified. What does it really signify? Nothing more than the fact that the DGSOM started today, that's it. It doesn't represent anything about me! It doesn't represent who I am, who I will be or what I am capable of. It CAN signify that if I trouble myself to overthink the situation, but simpler is easier, basic is better. Letting nature take its course without me interrupting with my pessimistic thoughts is the best thing to do and I can fel that it is exactly what I have done. I am at peace with it. Second time around, who knows if I will even want to stay in LA! I want to get out and explore the world. I want to challenge myself and see yet another side of myself!